Chunky Sweater (Also obsessed with this one!) / DL1961 Jeans (I’m wearing the maternity version, though.) / Women’s Hunter Boots + Toddler Hunter Boots / Emma’s Cocoon Coat (Women’s version here–40 percent off! Also check out the Factory version as well as the Lodge Coat.) and Plaid Leggings / Mitch’s Plaid Shirt and L.L.Bean Boots (My favorite women’s Bean Boots are backordered but are shipping in December. Order now if you want a pair for this winter!)
Christmas came early for the Larkins this year; Baby #2 is arriving this spring!
I KNOW. In some ways, this seems totally expected. 😉 (Emma is nearly two and half years old, and many couples start thinking about growing their families around that time!) But in other ways, it’s totally unexpected… making this the most wonderful surprise ever for our little family. We’re over the moon, and can’t believe it’s happening!
The story
If you’ve been following along here for a while, it took us several years to get and stay pregnant. We went the fertility route to have Emma, and when she was born, we knew that a second child might not be in the cards for us. And while Mitch and I had both always imagined having more than one, I can truly say that we were at peace with this knowledge, for lack of a better phrase. We felt incredibly lucky to have our healthy little girl, and the amazing, fun-filled life we’d built together in Chicago.
So we might always be a unit of three. It was hard to not be happy with that! (Here’s our first pregnancy announcement and video, btw.)
Still, we knew we’d want to try again, maybe when Emma turned two. But when that rolled around, I couldn’t bring myself to start things up. The shots, the procedures, the negative results, the disappointment, the miscarriages–I don’t know. While it had obviously been well worth it, I felt like we’d just been through all of that, and it had certainly taken its toll. Maybe it would different with #2; perhaps losses wouldn’t be as painful since there would be less desperation on our part. Or maybe they’d be just as heartbreaking. Did we really want to willingly put our marriage and family through that again when it could all be for naught? Or should we simply be grateful for everything we’d already been blessed with?
We talked about it, and decided that we’d postpone for a year and re-visit when Emma turned three.
…and then Mitch and I went to New York for Fashion Week, and I couldn’t fit into most of the clothing that I’d packed. While I probably should have tried it on ahead of time, it was all basic black stuff I’d owned and worn for years… And therefore I’d assumed it would be fine. Yes: the thought that I could be pregnant did cross my mind for a moment. But I knew the chances of that were so unbelievably low that I simply I chalked it up to our crazy travel schedule. I ran out to buy a couple of larger black dresses, and made a mental note to lay off the bagels.
I love bagels. 😂
But then we got back from the trip and I came down with something. I don’t think I was throwing up yet, but I was achy and exhausted, and felt like I had the flu. And it wasn’t letting up. And then one day, while Emma was napping and Mitch and I were working at the computers, I just knew. I closed my laptop, reached for another saltine cracker, and asked Mitch to go buy a pregnancy test at the pharmacy across the street. He gently and sweetly reminded me that the likelihood was extremely low. But he humored me and was back in five minutes with a Clear Blue. I went into the bathroom, peed on the stick, came out, and said, “Welllll… we’re pregnant.”
I feel like we stared at each other, mouths open, for hours, haha. But then Mitch leapt up and wouldn’t let go of me, and we couldn’t stop talking. A family of four. Five, if you counted Noodle! ;) Save for the time that Mitch got down on one knee (sorry that was written in the third person; so annoying 🙄), I don’t think I’d ever been so surprised, overjoyed and grateful at the same time. Was this real life?!
The likelihood of this happening (Warning: TMI)
Not surprisingly, I asked a lot of questions at those first doctor’s appointments. Like, whaaaat? But the explanation I received from my doctor, and from countless others in the medical field, is simple: it occurs, because the vast majority of fertility patients have a low chance of getting pregnant, but not no chance. There are instances of it happening for couples whose fertility treatments were successful, but there are also instances of it happening for couples whose fertility treatment attempts were unsuccessful.
In many studies, the percentage has actually been higher for the latter group! Which I think should bring a lot of hope to those who are–or have ever been–in the thick of it without having received answers. (Interestingly, pregnancy can also improve the anatomy. For example, it can increase blood flow to the uterus and therefore increase the chances of implantation. We think this may have happened with me, as I suffered from problems associated a very thin uterine lining, though it’s impossible to definitively conclude that. Sorry; warned you about the possibility of TMI!)
Of course, I wouldn’t say that this is extremely common, nor would I want a story from some random blogger with literally zero medical experience to dissuade anyone from seeing a fertility specialist. (Our doctor stressed that we’re not “cured”; if we were try for #3, she’d recommend moving forward with treatments again.) The benefits of going in and identifying any problems far outweigh the benefits of taking the “wait and see” approach if you’ve been trying for a while.
And as I talk about here, making that first phone call was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it also was the best thing I’ve ever done.
Due date
May 15! I’m really happy about this because with Emma, I was at my biggest and “most pregnant” over the summer, and the heat killed me. The weather in May, though, is still pretty darn cold here in Chicago. Last year, I think we even had some snow. (I put up this snowy post in April, but I’m pretty sure we had flakes well after that.)
A May 15th due date also means that we’ll also be able to introduce the baby pretty quickly to our extended families. We do a lot of traveling during the summers, and while we’ll definitely be pulling back on that, there are big family gatherings at my parents’ Jersey Shore house and at my in-laws’ lake house that we’re really hoping to make!
Why we announced “early” this time
I’m 14 weeks pregnant right now, which means that I’m at the beginning of the second trimester.
With Emma, I held off until month six to share the news because I was nervous that I wouldn’t be able to (publicly) handle another loss. This time, though, I’m a little more relaxed and less fearful. You guys also know our history, and I truly feel that we have a little support network here. Yes, if something were to happen, I’m certain that I would be devastated, and breaking the news would be difficult. But I think that suffering behind a facade of fake, posed photos and not telling you would be even harder.
Thank you.
Oh, and hiding the bump for that long was nearly impossible the first time around. I’m just too tired. I need to let the bump bump. ;)
The gender
We’re not finding out! I mean, we’ll obviously eventually find out 😂, but not until we meet the baby. My guess is that it’s a girl, only because I’ve been so horribly sick. (Studies suggest that morning sickness can be worse when you’re carrying a girl since female fetuses can produce more of a particular hormone.) But “sick” is so SUBJECTIVE, you know? I also thought Emma was a boy and I was clearly wrong. So yeah. I have no idea.
With Emma, we decided not to find out because everything had been so calculated and planned with the fertility treatments, and we thought that keeping the gender unknown would add some of the surprise back in. Since I’ve only had one child so far, I don’t have anything to compare this to… but I do think that not knowing added to the powerfulness of the moment when she came out. (Who knows, though. I’m sure it would have been just as powerful had we known!)
This time, the news of Baby #2 was a total surprise, so I did consider finding out, simply to make planning easier. But Mitch felt strongly about not doing so, and I didn’t feel strongly about either option.
I also don’t have a preference for a particular gender!
That said, I totally had a preference last time. Is it okay to admit that?! I obviously would have been overjoyed and loved the baby with all my heart either way… But I’d always wanted a little girl, and assumed that this was my one shot. Now, though, I’m far less insane and don’t even really think about it very often.
And in regard to the nursery and how we’ll decorate, it’s a bit more complicated than not knowing the sex. More on that below.
How we told our families
We went down to the lake house after we found out to tell my in-laws, but everyone already knew what was up. We were like, “Okay, we have a present for you!” And they were like, “Oh reaaaaaaalllly?” 😉 If you click here, you can see the complete shock on both sets of parents’ faces when we told them about Emma. We were going for that this time, too, but… fail, haha. They were so, so happy, though!
With my parents, we had to wait longer: for a trip back to NYC for this wedding. We had the whole thing planned out: We’d fly in Friday night, right after my parents flew in from Prague, and we’d tell them and my grandmothers who were both coming over that night. The following day, they’d watch Emma while we were in New York, and they’d be able to tell extended family who were traveling in to see Emma. And then the day after that, we’d be able to tell a second round of extended family who were coming in. ;) But alas: their flight from Prague was cancelled, and none of this happened. 😂
We still ended up telling them at a family dinner three or four days later, though… And it was really special. (We called all the other family members.). Also, we gave them a gift and told them it was a thank you for watching Emma, and when they opened it, there was a pacifier inside. They had NO idea! Tears and hugs.
And then we bought 72 bagels and put them in a suitcase and flew them home to Chicago, during which time they grew mold and had to be thrown away. 😢
Also, a fun story:
Remember Darby, one of my very best girlfriends from New York? When I told her that I was pregnant with Emma, her response was, “Now’s probably a good time to tell you that I’m pregnant, too!” Our due dates were two weeks apart, and I can’t tell you how it exciting and helpful it was to go through the experience with a best friend. When I told her I was pregnant at the Brooklyn wedding, her response was (once again) “Now’s probably a good time to tell you that I’m pregnant, too!” (!!!!!!!) TWO WEEKS APART AGAIN, GUYS!
(I should also note that all four of us–Darby, Jason, Mitch and me–were teachers at the same school in the Bronx. Darbs and I broke up with our significant others and decided to say yes to everything for a month, and ended up going to a bunch of teacher happy hours with the staff. It was there that we met and fell in love with the boys, and the weddings took place the same summer a few years later. So cute.) Anyway, the four of us couldn’t stop laughing. Luckily, we were at a cocktail hour with live music, so it was fine. ;)
Emma’s reaction
For a while, she was telling people that there was a baby in her belly, but we’ve cleared up that confusion, and she seems excited about it! I’m not sure if she really understands, but she’s obsessed with her friends here in Lincoln Park as well as with her cousins from Wisconsin, and she’s also crazy about her Bitty Baby. I think she’s going to be thrilled. I know that there might be an adjustment period, but our hope is that since both Mitch and I are both at home, we’ll be able to give her a lot of attention when the baby arrives, and help make her feel super involved and needed in caring for him or her. Fingers crossed, and open to any and all suggestions on how to make it easier!
Names
We’re set on a boy name, and we THINK we have a girl name, though we’re not 100 percent on it. We won’t be sharing until May, but feel free to suggest girl names! I suppose we like classic, somewhat ordinary ones best, haha. :)
Whether we’re moving
Okay, so here’s another big thing. We need to move.
😮
I love our current home, and we just finished renovating it. (We didn’t mean to gut it, but ended up doing so over the course of a few years, partially due to a flood.) Everything is done and in our style, but it’s too small. We’re already at our wits’ end with the lack of space, and we desperately need some basic things like a play room, additional bedroom, and separate office since we’re both self-employed. We also really want a backyard and bedrooms on the same floor. (I know this might sound silly, but I hate being on a different floor than Emma, especially since we’re in the city. It makes me so anxious.)
I’ll tell you that so many ideas have been considered, including some pretty drastic ones. At the moment, though, we think we’ve decided on what we’re going to do… and we’ve told our friends and families about our plans. And while we have a solid lead on a life-changing option that would be great for our family, nothing’s set in stone, and I don’t want to jinx anything. I’m hormonal, okay? ;) If it comes through, we’ll be sharing in January. Fingers crossed! (And this is why I don’t have a plan for the nursery yet!)
Note: Here’s an older post I wrote about where I see myself raising children. And here’s another post I wrote, freaking out about losing the majority of our friends to the suburbs.
Childcare
Something that I never saw coming was how opinionated so many people would be about the childcare decisions we made with Emma. Sheesh. In the beginning, we found ourselves trying to justify and explain them to others, but eventually we stopped doing that and simply smiled and tried to change the subject, haha. And now, 2.5 years later, I can say that we have zero regrets about the decisions we’ve made, and we’d make the same ones again if we could do it all over again.
That said, things are about to become a bit more challenging. Yes, Emma will be headed off to a full-day public pre-school for three year olds in September. But we don’t think we’ll be able to manage two businesses, take care of two children, spend quality time with them and each other, and find balance without traditional childcare this time around.
We like the social aspect of daycare because we see what a positive impact Emma’s peewee program has had on her! But a nanny may be more practical in the beginning. We’ll see. Regardless, we’ll be employing solid help of some type at least three to four days per week. :)
How I’ve been feeling
I’ve been having a rough time. :( But I’m hesitant to talk very much about this topic before I’m able to put great thought into how I present it. I remember how I felt when I’d hear pregnant women complain; all I wanted was to be in their shoes, my head in the toilet, too. And I never want anyone to feel like I’m not extremely grateful for this miracle.
It’s been a challenging few months, and I feel like I’m failing in all areas of life right now, unable to keep food down or my eyes open. And the house is about to be condemned, as I mentioned yesterday. (Looks like a bomb went off.) More on this in the upcoming days/weeks, but I’m reminding myself that this too shall likely pass soon, and even if it doesn’t, it’s only nine months in exchange for a lifetime of love.
On a somewhat related note, the sinus infections are, unfortunately, real. I can’t undergo surgery while pregnant, but I’ll explore that option again over the summer or early next fall. The good news? I finally kicked that one I’d been battling for months, though we had to do it with some pretty strong antibiotics. (Not preferable, but our only option, as infections that are left untreated for extended periods of time can be extremely dangerous.) Cross your fingers for me that I’m able to get to May without another one!
The bump + what I’m wearing
I’ve popped! You can see it in the above photo for sure, but you’ll start to see more of the bump on the blog this week. :)
I’m currently wearing these jeans but in the maternity version. They’re fabulous, but size down if you’re pregnant! I wear my normal size in the regular pair, but with the maternity version, I went down one and I wish I’d gone down two. They’re extremely comfy, though, and my go-to pair of jeans!
As for what else I’m wearing, I just did a “sweater buy” from Nordstrom and J.Crew. I hope to feature mostly outfits that work for both pregnant and non-pregnant readers over the next few months, but yes: you can expect to see a lot cozy sweaters and comfy leggings and whatnot from here on out. Which everyone loves, right?! I hope?! ;)
Whether we’ll have more children
Right now, we think this’ll be it. We really want remain in a city–heck, I don’t even have a license anymore!–and we think an urban lifestyle with two children is doable for us. Of course, only time will tell. I know plenty of families who said they were stopping at two only to feel like “someone was missing” a few years later. (And then they had twins. 😂) Here’s a post I wrote last year on how many children I thought I’d like to have!
Thank you!
It means the world to be able to share our news with you today, and we’re beyond excited to take on this next chapter of our lives with you. Thank you for your kindness and support over the years.
It often feels like we have our own personal squad of cheerleaders rooting for us, and that’s something truly incredible. You’re wonderful! <3
^ Dying over this photo. Mitch ran out to get a #4 balloon in the morning so we could take an extra special photo, but it got caught on our neighbor’s fence and popped almost immediately. But that’s a little dose of the hilarity behind everyday real life for ya! Couldn’t stop laughing.
Outfits:
Chunky Sweater (Also obsessed with this one!) / DL1961 Jeans (I’m wearing the maternity version, though.) / Women’s Hunter Boots + Toddler Hunter Boots / Emma’s Cocoon Coat (Women’s version here–40 percent off! Also check out the Factory version as well as the Lodge Coat.) and Plaid Leggings / Mitch’s Plaid Shirt and L.L.Bean Boots (My favorite women’s Bean Boots are backordered but are shipping in December. Order now if you want a pair for this winter!)
