Note: We took yesterday off because CPS students were off from remote school and we needed all hands on deck. This is a pre-scheduled post!
Conquering the family breakfast mad rush is one of my greatest Dad Achievements, and today I’d like to share the ultimate tip to get the family fed and off to their respective remote working workdays in peace.
And I’m not cutting any corners with cereal or breakfast bars or any of that stuff. I’m talking real deal, old school, actually cooked breakfast food that tastes good and is (apparently) good for you, too.
I’m just going to come out and say it: Microwaved Scrambled Eggs!
Cooking great scrambled eggs in a frying pan is not easy. It requires monitoring of fats, seasonings, heat, constant stirring, and (in my case) distractions, overcooked eggs, and burnt pans that’ll need to soak… and eventually cause an insurmountable dirty dish party that’ll need to wait until the kids go to bed.
It doesn’t have to be like this, though!
Why not scramble eggs in the microwave? You cook other food in that thing, no? Or at least warm up your coffee? What, it’s not good enough for eggs? Get over yourself. Microwaved scrambled eggs taste great, cook in 45 seconds, are easy to clean up, and make your wife think you actually cooked her breakfast.
The process is simple. Crack two eggs and some salt and pepper into a small glass and whip those suckers with a fork. Keep that fork close because we’re going to do some more whipping in a bit. Microwave that business for 30 seconds, taking care to cover the dish for fear of Exploding Microwaved Egg Syndrome (EMES). Remove the dish and whip some more to break up the egg proteins and create that perfect scrambled egg kernel. Then just keep whipping and nuking for 30 seconds until the eggs look right to you.
And you’re hearing this from the brother of a chicken farmer, so I’m a bit of a brother clucking expert. Don’t all give me a standing ovumation for that one. Okay, I’m done making yolks in this post.
Omelette you finish, but these are the best eggs of all time.
I’d like to give special shoutouts to my brother and sister-in-law, Farmers Charlie and Shirley of Above Normal Eggs, for showing me how much better free range eggs taste and to my mother-in-law, Cathy Sheehan, for teaching me the method. You saved me many mornings, Cathy!
I’d also like to take a moment to call out just how unnecessarily noisy microwaves are. We don’t need your beeps, blurps and chirps, microwaves. It’s the morning and you’re a little too excited. Also, turn off the I’m Done Microwaving alarm while you’re at it. If I’ve forgotten my food in the microwave, it’s probably for the best. Thanks.
Not my best photography work, but definitely my best eggs.
- Square of butter
- Two free range eggs (preferably from Above Normal Eggs)
- Seasoning to taste
- Coat glass with melted butter
- Crack eggs, season and beat with a fork until smooth
- Cover dish and microwave for 30 seconds on high
- Remove dish and beat partially cooked eggs with a fork until smooth
- Repeat steps 3 and 4 until desired egg consistency achieved