Feetloaf Recipe

Chef Mitch here!

A day late, but here’s a funny Halloween-inspired “recipe” (or art project?) that your kids will die over any day of the year.

Few foods flitter my foundation as much as the loaf. Loaf has been there for me throughout my life, and today I made my loaf look like the amputated feet of a burn victim to scare my children. Yes, it’s feetloaf (or meat loafers?) today on the blog. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

My kids don’t like loaf. As a concerned father, I looked into it and apparently most kids don’t like loaf because they say it’s gross. But I still make it for them quite regularly because that’s what my parents did for me. And someday, I’m sure, that’s what my kids will do for their little Martian babies.

??? -Kelly

All jokes aside, I make a killer loaf. My mother’s recipe will knock your socks off, but for today’s loaf by the foot, I was a heel and toed up to Tasty’s recipe to kick things up a notch. The resulting loaf is a shoe in for recipe of the year; it’s good for the sole and I think I nailed it.

Most loaf recipes require hand mixing, which is not something I’m willing to do. So I put all the ingredients I can find into the stand mixer and let it do the dirty work.

I’m not a very artistic individual and the thought of sculpting two zombie feet out of raw meatloaf dough gave me serious anxiety. Also, there were two screaming children who I couldn’t help because I was covered in meat juice for like 15 minutes. This, coupled with the anxiety, made things truly wild.

My family said some pretty mean things to me about the feet at the dinner table but I’m pretty happy with how they turned out.

I spent the meal thinking about how cool it would be if a mythical forest beast had a meatloaf body. It’d obviously be prized game and if I hunted it, I’d do my best to make use of each of it’s body parts including the feet. I’d gladly eat its feet. It’s the least I could do for its sacrifice. What a cruel trick evolution played on this unforesaken mythical forest meatloaf beast. But I guess it’s the beast’s own fault for tasting so good.

And then I said, “MITCH! COME BACK TO US!” And I asked you what you were thinking about and you said “Nothing.” -Kelly

In conclusion, loaf makes a great meal and you can make loaf look like all kinds of cool stuff. Due to its malleability, meatloaf can be shaped into nearly anything for holidays or celebrations—not just Halloween! Think about meatloaf fireworks on the fourth of July, meatloaf party hats for New Years Eve and even a meatloaf reindeer on Christmas morning.

So much loaf!

Feetloaf Recipe

Feetloaf Recipe

Ingredients:

  • 3 pounds of ground beef
  • Salt, pepper, garlic powder and other spices to taste
  • 4 eggs
  • 2 cups of oatmeal
  • 1 large onion two sliced circles
  • 1 cup ketchup

Recipe:

  1. Add ingredients to stand mixer and mix on thoroughly on slow.
  2. Roughly divide the meat concoction in two and place on baking sheet.
  3. Sculpt meat into foot tape taking care to form the toes and scoop out dimple above the ankle.
  4. Place two large onion sections in the dimple and one slivered onion on each toe.
  5. Drip ketchup around each ankle.
  6. Cook at 350 degrees for approximately 1 hour.

Chef Mitch. OUT!

I’m sorry, guys. -Kelly