ThirdLove Maternity Bra / AG Legging Jeans on sale / Hooded Sweater on sale / Scalloped Cami / Emma’s Dress (Similar here) / Emma’s Pajamas
Over my (almost) year of motherhood, I’ve learned that breastfeeding is quite the controversial topic. So today, I’m teaming up with ThirdLove–which just came out with a new line of maternity bras–to talk openly and honestly about my experience with nursing my baby. My hope is that I’m able to start a meaningful conversation while driving home the idea that every mother, baby and family is different. Mom-shaming is real, and it’s never been more important to support each other! We’re all doing our best and care deeply about our children’s wellbeing, after all. :)
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I found breastfeeding to be extremely difficult. The act itself wasn’t hard; I was very lucky that Emma latched immediately and my milk came in quickly. But nearly everything else was a challenge. First, I was (personally) very uncomfortable with breastfeeding in public, and felt like a prisoner in my own house. Once in a while, I had no choice and I had to do it in public… and I freely admit that I never so much as received a disapproving glance from a stranger. (So nice!) But I’ve always been a conservative girl, and I hated doing it. I fumbled with my bra and the clasps were constantly getting stuck; I’d blush a deep shade of red, fearing I’d flashed the world. (But did you hear?! ThirdLove just came out with the best nursing bras. I’ll definitely be using them for Baby #2, if we’re so lucky!) Similarly, when friends and family would come over, I felt the need to disappear for 45 minutes to feed Emma. I was bummed, as I desperately needed the social interaction, and I missed everyone! Finally, and this is undoubtedly the most important part, Emma wasn’t getting the calories she needed from it. I know, I know. It’s hard to believe, considering what a chunker she is today. ;) But she was so comforted by breastfeeding that she’d fall asleep five minutes into it. We tried everything we could to keep her eyes open, but it just didn’t work that well. She’d wake up ridiculously upset because she was so hungry, I’d feed her, she’d fall asleep… and then we’d repeat the same process over and over again–well into the wee hours of the morning.
Somewhere in the middle of the fourth month, our pediatrician recommended that we start integrating formula into Emma’s feedings to develop good routines and to help her pack on the pounds. It helped so much, and it actually allowed me to continue breastfeeding longer than I think I would have had we not gone that route. Emma’s crying tapered off, she started sleeping through the night, and we were able to get out of the house way more often.
When the idea was first proposed to me, I was pretty upset. I felt like a failure; like I couldn’t provide for my own daughter. And I was sad to give up bonding time. But after a few weeks, I realized that it was the right move for our family. Emma was happier and healthier, and I was happier and healthier. Mitch was happier too! I still fed Emma the majority of the time, but he was able to give her the bottles, which he loved… and it allowed for a few extra hours of shuteye for Mom. ;) By the end of the fourth month, I’d stopped completely.
Long story short, I’m really glad I breastfed Emma for the time that I did, but I’m not ashamed of the fact that our family decided to transition her to formula during month four. Yes, there are mothers out there who are able to do it for much longer, and their babies are able to thrive. I’m just not one of them, and that’s okay. Maybe with Baby #2, things will be different. Or maybe they’ll be the same. I’m just reminding myself that every mother, child and family is different and has different needs. Playing the comparison game is such a waste of time.
But back to ThirdLove. The brand, known for its beauty and comfort, carries 47 sizes and 15 styles. And now, ThirdLove has a maternity line. While it wasn’t around when I first had Emma, I’ve been testing out the bras for a while now, and I can’t believe how wonderful they are! Buying a maternity bra wasn’t at the top of my to-do list when I was pregnant, but I now realize that it should have been. I just grabbed one at a local store and called it a day. But the no-name bra poked me in all the wrong places, and it really added to my discomfort during my recovery. (Which, if you remember, wasn’t exactly a cakewalk.) It was also straight-up ugly, haha, which wasn’t very helpful, considering my self-esteem kind of took a hit right after childbirth.
The ThirdLove bras, however, are magical. First of all, you can’t even tell that they’re maternity bras. They look like regular bras and they feel like regular bras. The only real difference is that there are clips up top to let the cups down, and three clips in the middle, giving moms another feeding option. Unlike my old bra, the clips don’t get stuck; they work. This would have been HUGE for me! I think I would have felt a lot more comfortable feeding in public and in front of other people had I had this. I also love the bra’s gold accents. (So pretty.) And those pleated straps? Functional (they don’t dig into my shoulders) and adorable.
My favorite part about the maternity bras, however, is that they come with underwire or without underwire–while still offering great support. When I first had Emma, I only had maternity bras with underwire in them, which made for incredibly uncomfortable nights. (Couldn’t sleep without a bra on, otherwise I’d end up soaked by morning. TMI, I know, but you need somewhere to put those nursing pads.) I’ve fallen asleep in my ThirdLove bra several times, though (#hotmess), and no discomfort whatsoever. I’m a big fan. :)
Some other awesome facts about ThirdLove: The company’s bras are designed from the real measurements of millions of real women, and they come in exclusive half-cup sizes. They feature tagless labels, straps that won’t slip, ultra-soft fabrics, and lightweight memory foam cups that reform after each wash. The best part? You can try of the company’s best-selling bras for free for 30 days. If you don’t love your bra, simply send it back… no questions asked.
Anyway, we’d love to start a discussion and hear your breastfeeding story if you’re open to sharing it. :) And if you’d like to try ThirdLove, shop the new maternity line above!
Shop the post:
ThirdLove Maternity Bra / AG Legging Jeans on sale / Hooded Sweater on sale / Scalloped Cami / Emma’s Dress (Similar here) / Emma’s Pajamas
In collaboration with ThirdLove, but all opinions are my own. As always, thank you so much for supporting the brands and partnerships that keep Kelly in the City up and running!
Hi Kelly!
Thanks for sharing your story – I truly believe that “fed is best” when it comes to our babies. I have a 2 year old son and a 2 month old daughter, and have been fortunate to be able to breastfeed both of them. They each spent time in the NICU, so I worried how the transition to feeding them would go since they had IV fluids, bottles, formula, etc. in the hospital. For me, it was a seamless transition. I breastfed my son till he was 1, and hope to do the same for my daughter. As a teacher, I was lucky to have maternity leave flowing into summer break for my first pregnancy, which helped us establish a regular schedule and routine. Pumping back at school was THE WORST, think: an office in the school gym next to the athletic director, frequented by custodians. It was really important to me to make it to the 1 year mark, and breastfeeding worked easily with my body. My babies grew healthily, so even though I wished I wasn’t spending my prep periods in the gross gym, I wanted to make that self-imposed deadline. I had heard all these difficult stories from my friends and sisters in law about breastfeeding, but truly, it worked for me pretty easily, and I know I am really lucky. I still don’t like to feed in public, but have invested in a lot of those silky muslin swaddles (hey Nordstrom!) and Lilly scarves which help to give me a little bit of privacy. Also, with two little kids, I’m just barely holding my life together, so if someone gets flashed – lucky them!
Hi Kelly!
Thanks for the story, it was so insightful to read!
While I’m not a mom, it just drives me crazy that people can be so judgemental and place so much guilt on others for what works for them. When moms who don’t breastfeed at all or breastfeed a couple months, it almost always feels like they have to explain themselves as to why that couldn’t supply on their own. I think the most important factor is that what works for your child is what works. Everyone knows that every child is different and breastfeeding is no different for that.
Thanks for sharing your story! I think it helps others understand that there are no right way. Honestly, we all just want baby to eat!
Your stories are appreciated even from a non-mom (hopefully mom one day).
Emma’s such a cutie! Totally agree everyone should do what’s best for their family! I truly don’t think most people understand how difficult breastfeeding can be and how much time it takes (especially initially). I made it the first full year breastfeeding but definitely did not love it!!! I was also uncomfortable nursing in public even though I tried to get my courage up! My little guy got so distracted in public and would not wear a cover so I’d always end up with my boob out! He also REFUSED a bottle until he was almost 6 months old (which is more common than you think!!!) So besides the fact that I didn’t have much of a choice at first, I also felt a lot of pressure as a SAHM to do it since I didn’t have to deal with the pumping and was with him all the time anyway. We weaned at 12 months because I was sooooo ready but also because he wasn’t really interested in solid food still because he was nursing all the time. Anyway, I’m really proud that we made it that long and hope it provided a great nutritional base for the rest of his life, but I still have mixed feelings about it and as we’re getting ready to try for baby #2, it is not something I’m looking forward to. Enjoy your weekend!
Those bras look great! I nurse my 20 month old who never had formula and I work full time. I feel very passionately about helping women reach their nursing and pumping goals and actually added a few videos to my YouTube channel on the topic. I hope you and Mitch will be blessed with another baby if that’s what you desire, and that you will reach your nursing goals (whatever those may be). I can only speak from my own experience of course, but nursing in public got SO much easier around the 4 month mark, and my son’s feedings shortened to about 5 minutes! If you still feel very shy about nursing in public (or in your own home it sounds like) next time maybe look into pumping more as an alternative? Just an idea. Of course do whatever works for you. I am extremely passionate about breastfeeding and helping women overcome whatever obstacles are in their way and encourage everyone to look for more resources and ways to make it work if that’s what they desire. And my advice for anyone who wants to meet their goals would be to seek out resources from women who WERE successful at nursing and to not listen to the advice and thoughts from women who were not successful. I’d heard so much horrific and downright WRONG information from so many women who were unsuccessful with nursing and it’s no wonder they were….anyway..I know that was a tangent. I could go on forever. Much love and thanks for the bra info!
Hi Kelly,
Thanks for sharing your story. I’ve been nursing my kids 4 and 21 months since they were born. I know how you feel about the stigma of nursing in public, but like you said the majority of times, it’s your own self conscience that eats away at you the most.
I had a rough time nursing DS, I set goals to’ make it’ to 3 then 6 months and then a year- pumping every 4 hours in a office environment for months on end was tough.But I ended up nursing him until present- he turned 4 last Saturday! It’s getting a little strange, but he knows he only nurses before bedtime and at home only- so I don’t get strange horrified looks in public! I asked him why he still wants to nurse so much since he’s a big boy, and he responded, because I love you momma and it makes me feel better.
Our DD is 21 months and nursing with the second little was much easier,I didn’t have issues with my low milk supply or mastitis. IT came naturally and after 4 years, I can still pump 10 ounces of milk and have mastered nursing without a cover, DH could never tell when I was nursing and just assumed that they little fell asleep on my chest!
I am confident that you will be able to get into a better groove the second time around and if you can’t, that’s ok too! Each baby is different and you just need to find your groove, sometimes it takes longer than others!
You made the best decision for your family and everyone seems happy, healthy and thriving! Good luck on your journey.
I will definitely look into this bra as I’ve been wearing nursing tops/bras for the last 3 years!